so today is the day the social worker told them to leave me alone with jake... and so far, it's 9h45 am, it's been ok. but i feel like i'm gonna get so bored, but heck...

for the second time in his short little life, jacob ate. he seems alright!

well i'll write later!
rachel

why is it so hard to understand that when i'm in a fight with yanick i don't need everyone else to speak behind his back...? that i don't need to be drowned more deeper into this mess...??

why is it so hard for yan to just to take his -bleep- pills? and why is it so hard to just step back and breathe a little?! just leave and let me breathe too! and just leave for jacob's sake? why can't we have a normal relationship?? why everytimes he touches me his hands run always at the same places?? is it so hard to just give out simple signs of affection???

anyway
rachel

you're beautiful -- james blunt

My life is brilliant

*Musical Pause*

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

(chorus)
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause Ill never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As I walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

(chorus)
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful it's true
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
You're beautiful, You're beautiful.
But it's time to face the truth
I will never be with you.

(La-la-la-la, La-la-la-la, La-la-la-la, Laaah)

There must be an angel, with a smile on her face,
when she thought that I should be with you

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

today the social worker came at home. she's nice. it was interesting, yet again. but i just hope that yanick was sincere when talking to her... i don't know, it scares me when i think he wasn't... and it hurts but we'll see... today, guess what!!?? no fight! wow, i'm totaly impress haha!

anyway, we spoke about being a mother, being a father, our raletionship [yan and i], the tree of us [my mom my bf and i] she gave us some homeworks... yanick and my mom have to leave me alone on wednesdays with jake, yanick have to get stuffs and infos for his frustration problem and i have to write down everything about every situation that i feel disapointed about myself...

jacob was in a good mood today which rocks. right now he's sleeping tight. it's all good since he didn't sleep from 2 am til 3:30 am! and didn't really sleep all day.

rachel
[pic= not jacob]

i don't know why i got mad at yan earlier ... it just makes me mad when i k now he's gonna spend so much times with alex... i'm not jealous but there's limits to what friendship is... mostly with some people that isn't really your friends... like alex isn't really one to yanick... anyway it wasn't really about the ring -bleep-...

right now i'm chatting to a guy from jura in france or switzerland, i don't know. he's cool... and cute yup... yanick shouldn't read this or he'd get mad... really mad...

sometimes he can be a prick... you know what he did this morning? he brought me a ring... cute hien??? except that it wasn't really from him since alex gave it to him...what so now i gotta wear what other people don't want??? i got so angry... ok the idea was ok but it's not the first time that he's doing it to me... first ring he ever gave me was a ring daniel had given to him so he could give it to me... how pitty??? i didn't ask for anything... mostly not for the rest of others stuffs... -bleep-...

anyway, talk to you later
chel
pic = yanick